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Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Show #2972
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


Bryan Clay; Don Cheadle; and Little Anthony and The Imperials.
PLUS: "Get To Know Delaware"; trouble with Biden?; Dave with a message to his son; McCain's house mess; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a top ten list; and Biff at the Democratic National Convention.

" . . . and now, British adventurer and television personality . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
It's time for another installment of "Get To Know Delaware," home of Senator Joe Biden.
Art Card/music: "Get To Know Delaware."
Announce:

"Historic tourist attractions, such as Independence Hall and the Franklin Institute, and breathtaking natural attractions, such as the Allegheny National Forest . . . . can be found in Pennsylvania, which is right next to Delaware. This has been 'Get To Know Delaware.'"
Barack Obama's pick of Joe Biden to be his running mate has already resulted in some controversy. We watch.
Announce:
"In 1988, Joe Biden's presidential campaign came to an end when he was accused of plagiarizing speeches. Well, looks like Joe is up to his old tricks. Here's what Barack Obama said at 3:00 PM Saturday."
Shot of Barack in front of a crowd, saying "Springfield."
Announce: "And here's what Biden said just 10 minutes later."
Shot of Joe Biden in front of a crowd, saying "Springfield."
Announce: "Disgraceful. John McCain: What time's 'Matlock' on?"
There was a touching moment last night at the Convention when Barack Obama appeared on a monitor and his kids said to him, "I love you, daddy." It was very sweet. Dave thought it would be a good idea to try that with his own son tonight. We turn on the camera and find Dave's boy watching Dave on the TV screen. Dave warmly says to his child, "Hello, son. Daddy loves you." Dave's boy, who seems to have taken a life path reserved for ne'er-do-wells, lashes out. He snarls, "Ha! Good one, fatty!" and throws a beer bottle towards the TV. It smashes against the wall. Oooooh, embarrassing. Not quite as heart-warming as the Obama family.

The revelation that John McCain doesn't know how many homes he owns started a volley of attacks between the McCain and Osama campaigns. Thankfully, someone has stepped in to put the issue to rest. We watch.
Announce:

"Barack Obama has been criticizing John McCain for not knowing how many homes he owns. John McCain responded by criticizing Obama for buying land with the help of convicted felon Tony Rezko.
In light of all this controversy over candidates' homes, Ralph Nader would like to remind America that he lives in a one-room efficiency at the Nite-Lite Residential Motel in Fort Lee, New Jersey.
Ralph Nader: Washing his socks in the kitchen sink since 1965."
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
We see the President: "We're doing a better job of talking to each other. The left hand now knows what the right hand is doing." When the President says "left hand" he references his right, and vice versa.
That clip is an oldie but goodie. We first used that back on September 22, 2003 in something we called at the time, "George W. Bush Clip of the Night."

ACT 2:
BIFF AT THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION
: We find Biff at the Pepsi Center in Denver. After some small chit chat, it becomes obvious there is a delay in the satellite communication. I hate that. What does Biff have for us tonight? Biff beams that he had a one-on-one interview with the Chairman of the Democratic National Committee, Howard Dean. Wow! Good get! We watch the interview.
We see Biff in a crowded hallway. Lots of pushing and shoving. Passing by is Dr. Howard Dean. Biff yells out to Dr. Dean, "Let me ask you one quick question!" Howard Dean responds while being pushed forward, "I can't. Gotta run!"

TOP TEN: Things Overheard At the Democratic National Convention
#10. "Check it out --- Bill Clinton and John Edwards are hitting on the same woman." #6. "Senator Biden, do you think you'll shoot an old guy in the face?"

ACT 3:
BRYAN CLAY:
He's The World's Greatest Athlete. No no no, not Jan Michael Vincent . . . I'm talking about Bryan Clay, the United States Decathlon Gold Medal winner at the Beijing Olympic Games. How were the Games? How was China? Bryan says everything was great and gives kudos to China on the great weather. Wow. I think he's giving China more credit than it deserves, unless the cloud-seeding actually did work.
Dave loves the decathlon, calling it the epitome of the track and field events and the Olympics. It's a grueling event, covering 2 days and 10 events. Dave asks, "Who talked you into this?"
The key to being a successful competitor in the decathlon involves consistency, speed, and power. Dave runs down the 10 events and Bryan describes how he did in each.
DAY 1:
Bryan won 100 meter run with a time of 10.44 seconds
Long Jump: 25 feet, 6 inches.
Shot put: 53 feet, 4-and-a-half inches
High Jump: 6 feet, 6 inches. Bryan was not happy with the height and expected to do better in this event.
400 meters - 48.92 seconds
DAY 2
110 meter hurdles - Bryan won, at 13.91 seconds
Discus: 53.79 meters
Pole Vault: 16 feet, 4 inches.
Javelin: 232 feet.
1500 meters - 5 minutes, 6.59 seconds

Bryan went to sleep around 1:30 AM after the first day's events. The next day's competition was to start at 9:00-9:30 AM but he had to get up at around 5:00 AM to get his body ready, awake, and alive. Dave asked what he ate for breakfast before DAY 2 and while Bryan was trying to remember, Dave was whispering the cue, "Wheaties . . . Wheaties. . . . Wheaties." Bryan then said he ate Wheaties, and will likely be eating a lot more Wheaties in the coming months.

ACT 4:
We find Bryan Clay out on 53rd Street to throw stuff at a New York City taxi cab. Standing about 30 feet away, Bryan hurls a discus in the direction of the stationery cab. The discus skims off the roof of the cab and continues towards the Hudson. Next up: a 16-pound shot put. Bryan gives it a heave and it hits the door of the cab, rebounding right back to him. On his second put, he puts it right through the driver's side front window. A smash hit. To finish up, Bryan spears a javelin through the driver's side broken window, sticking it into the headrest.
And that's how we play, "Fun With Decathlon Equipment."

ACT 5:
Announce: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Neil Patrick Harris; Olympic Gold Medal Winners Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor, and Nas.
The Late Show: Now in 8 designer colors!
We'll be right back."

ACT 6:
DON CHEADLE:
From the new film, "Traitor," which opens Wednesday. Olympic fever? Did Don have the Olympic Fever? Did Don ever dream of competing in the Olympics? Cheadle says he participated in Olympic Day in elementary school and ran the 50-yard dash. Still proud, he says he "blue-ribboned" the event. And today? Don says he participates in Speed Golf. In Speed Golf, you shoot, you run, you shoot again, you run again. You run the entire course. That's fine, but I guess the foursome in front of you would have to be playing Speed Golf, too. Come to think of it, it would be more entertaining to watch if the foursome in front of you WASN'T playing Speed Golf. Now that could be fun. Even better, Speed Golf without paying green fees. Now we're talking ESPN2!
And Don's has participated in celebrity golf tournaments. That can be very intimidating because where there are celebrities, there are crowds. Unfortunately, celebrities golfing and big crowds often results in bumps, bruises, and blood. It's not a real celebrity golf tournament unless a spectator gets clunked and has to be removed by ambulance.
Celebrity Secret: at one time, Don Cheadle performed in a music video as a dancer. We watch a dancing Don as a car wash technician in the MTV video back when MTV played music. By the way, what does the 'M' now stand for in MTV? Dave was hoping it would have been a bit more embarrassing but Don Cheadle came off as looking pretty good as the dancing car washing technician.

ACT 7:
LITTLE ANTHONY AND THE IMPERIALS
: From their upcoming CD, "You'll Never Know," the legendary group performed "Hurts So Bad."

And that was our show for Tuesday, August 26, 2008.



Is it OK to eat snap peas, pod and all? I find it easier and more filling, but acquaintances say I am making a restaurant social snafu.

My wife and I went to the movies the other night at the Centi-Plex. There was nothing in particular we wanted to see and since we hate waiting on line, we decided to go to whatever was the next movie to start. It turned out to be "Tropic Thunder." It wasn't worth the money, but it was not the fault of "Tropic Thunder." I blame the theater. The movie cost $11. No movie is worth $11 unless it comes with lunch. "Tropic Thunder" gave me a few out-loud giggles, which for me is a lot. It lost momentum in parts but overall I was satisfied. Denise marveled over Robert Downey Jr.'s performance. I'm not much the fan of Tom Cruise but I thought he was fantastic.

Seeing the clip of Howard Dean being rushed past Biff reminded me of something I noticed years ago while a member of the NYPD. The job of private security when scurrying a big-time celebrity past autograph seekers and fans is to make themselves look like the bad guy. When the celeb is rushed by, the fans will blame security for the celebrity ignoring them. The celebrity will often give the look of "I'd stop if I could but they won't let me." Of course, the celeb doesn't want to mingle with the minions but he doesn't want you to know that.

Both New York baseball teams are in a struggle to make the playoffs and are right now playing their prime competitor. The Mets lost to the Phillies last night after leading 7-0. It's the big story in all the local papers today. And the happiest person is Alex Rodriguez who came up big-time empty last night in the Yankees 7-3 loss to the Boston Red Sox. Everyone's talking about the Mets; A-Rod is getting a somewhat free pass. Nay-Rod struck out twice, hit into two double plays, and committed an error. Jason Giambi was equally as bad.
I'm a Yankee fan. I don't hate the Mets but for some reason I don't root for them. And the reason for that is when the Mets lose, it makes for much better local sports talk radio.

Hey, Horse Racing fans! Tuesday in the first race at Delaware Park, Letterman's Humor finished in the money, coming in third! Letterman's Humor paid $4 for placing. His run was described as void of early speed, then lodged a mild rally late.

Growing up, kids playing baseball always put the worst player in rightfield, which is unfortunate since rightfield is the hardest position to play.

The above non sequitur is something you would read in Larry King's column years ago. And that's what I'm striving for, to be just like Larry King.

And for the last time, if Hillary Clinton had run for United States Senator from her home state of Illinois instead of carpetbagging New York, she'd be the Democratic nominee for President today, not Barack Obama.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Little John is 49 years old! From Stony Bar, New York, happy birthday to John "The Duke" DelRegno.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com

ACT 1
• Show Open
• Dave's Monologue
 Watch now
• Get To Know Delaware
• John McCain: What Time's 'Matlock' On?
• Harry Letterman in the Green Room
• A Message From Ralph Nader
• Great Moments In Presidential Speeches
ACT 2
• Biff Henderson's One-On-One Interview with Howard Dean
• Top Ten Things Overheard At the Democratic National Convention
 Read now

ACT 3
• Olympic Decathlon Gold Medalist, Bryan Clay
 Watch now
ACT 4
• Late Show Promo
ACT 5
• Bryan Clay's Taxi Cab Decathlon on 53rd Street
ACT 6
• Don Cheadle
ACT 7
• Little Anthony and the Imperials perform "Hurts So Bad"
• Show Close

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