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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor; Neil Patrick Harris; and Nas. PLUS:Get To Know Delaware; a CBS News Election '08 Update; Delegate of the Night; a Phone Call from Spencer Pratt; a Top Ten List; What's in the Cargo Pants; and Biff at the Democratic National Convention.
" . . . and now, Internet 'It' boy. . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1:
Dave conducted another of his insta-polls during the monologue. If the election were held tomorrow, how many would vote for Barack Obama and how many would vote for John McCain? Tonight's winner? It was a draw. Too close to call.
Joe Biden, the Democratic nominee for Vice President, hails from the great state of Delaware. That is why all week we've been doing a segment entitled, "Get To Know Delaware." We watch tonight's installment. Announce: "In 1894, the Battle of New Castle ended after General Thaddeus Rutledge signed the Treaty of Edgemoor in Delaware . . . . . I just made that up because I don't the first thing about Delaware.
This has been 'Get To Know Delaware.'"
Suddenly . . . . a special report. Announcer: "This is a CBS News Election '08 Update.
Hillary Clinton has unequivocally thrown her support behind Barack Obama. However, as a die-hard supporter . . . . (shot of announcer in announce booth) . . . . I'm continuing to wear my pantsuit.
Stay tuned to CBS for more election updates. We now return you to The Tony Orlando & Dawn Rainbow Hour, already in progress."
It's time for something new, though it sounds like something we would have done before, entitled, "Delegate of the Night." We see a clip of a delegate dancing in the aisle of the Pepsi Center at the Democratic Convention. He had everything but a lampshade.
Backstage, you can hear a female voice cry out, "Phone call! You have a phone call! Phone call, 'sdd'-hole! Hey, 'sdd'-hole, telephone call!" Dave finally hears the message and looks over to our executive producer and asks, "Telephone call? Right here at the fake phone? The one that hasn't worked in 25 years?" Dave picks up the phone. DAVE: "Hello?" SPENCER: "What's up? What's up?" DAVE: (to the audience) "It's that guy Spencer Pratt from 'The Hills.' Excuse me for a moment." (talks to Spencer)
What's going on, Spencer?" SPENCER: "You know, all we were was nice to you and all of a sudden you jumped ship to the bad guys." DAVE: " . . . . what?" SPENCER: "How long have you known me? 22 years? You've known LC for 3 months." DAVE: "I don't see what the problem is." SPENCER: "And in your head, you're the peacemaker. 'I wanna be nice to everyone.' And you got caught up. And I get that. It's like 'Woo-hoo. I'm friends with everybody! Can't we all just get along?'" DAVE: "I think you're blowing this way out of proportion, Spencer. I hope we can put this unpleasantness behind us and still be friends." SPENCER: "I don't want to see you. I don't want to hang out with you. As long as you're rolling around with that posse, you have nothing to do with my life. And that's straight up." DAVE: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, Spencer."
Spencer hangs up.
That's too bad.
It's time once again for another installment of "Delegate of the Night." We see another delegate exhibiting behavior best left back in college. He is a mite to happy. Dave wonders, "Is he really that happy?"
ACT 2: TOP TEN: Democratic National Convention Pickup Lines
At the end of the Top Ten animation, the hubcap from the speeding NYC taxi cab flies off and hits a bicycle messenger and sends him flying. An alarmed Dave is alarmed. Dave exclaims, "Did you see that thing!? He got hit by an animated hubcap!" Dave shows great concern, but I wonder if his worry was over the bicyclist or the impending lawsuit. He is informed that the bicyclist is OK, which comforts him somewhat. Still, it's something we need to look into. Remember, safety first.
Top Ten Democratic National Convention Pickup Lines
9. "Something's rising and it's not the national debt."
5. "I'll make you scream like Howard Dean."
2. "Wanna pretend we're Republicans and have gay bathroom sex?"
BIFF AT THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION
We find Biff at DAY 3 of the Democratic National Convention. What has he learned? Biff has learned that John Kerry has the biggest head he's ever seen. Says Biff, "It's huge. The camera had to step back to see the whole thing." And how was the Hillary speech? Biff called it exciting and feels it unified the Party. How much of it did he see? Biff says, "I only saw a minute or two then I went to dinner."
What does Biff have for us tonight? Biff went around the Democratic National Convention at the Pepsi Center and spent the day touching people. We watch Biff touching non-suspecting Dems.
ACT 3: KERRI WALSH AND MISTY MAY-TREANOR: Gold medal winners for the 2nd time in Women's Beach Volleyball. Dave likes the beach volleyball. He likes it a lot. Is it the beach or the volleyball he likes so much? I think it's the bathing suits.
We are looking at excellence when we look at Kerri and Misty. They have won 108 consecutive matches and 14 straight in the Olympics. Pure dominance. They each started playing indoor volleyball as kids but eventually got burned out. They then hooked up 8 years ago for 2-person beach volleyball and the rest is history.
Why the bikinis? Kerri says it is the most comfortable. Plus, with a one-piece, sand can get in there and it makes it hard to concentrate on the game. Not to mention the bikinis help boost their Q-Score.
Kerri and Misty had met the President before heading to China for the Olympics. Kerri introduced herself to President Bush and he chimed, "Oh, volleyball!" Either the President knows his volleyball or he was cued. Misty then introduced herself and he exclaimed, "I know you . . . where are your tattoos?" When the President was in China for the Games, he paid them a visit and we showed a photo of that meeting. We see the President about to swat and squatting Misty and the fanny. At least that's what it looked like. Actually, Misty was showing the President her tattoo and invited him to give it a pat. Which he did. When you're not running for re-election, you can do whatever you want.
You can see more of Misty this fall as she was just selected to be a contestant on "Dancing With The Stars." "Dancing With The Stars" is a big hit. I don't know; I must be getting old. I don't get a lot of things anymore.
ACT 4:
Back from commercial, Dave says he needs a coupla minutes. It seems the visit with the volleyball gals took a lot out of him. Dave admits, "If I didn't have this show, I could never get close to two women like that." Yes, his position permits him to get within touching distance to some of the most beautiful and talented women in the world. Unfortunately, the rest is left up to him. Dave said he mentioned to Kerri Walsh that he was 6 foot two, also. And that's where the conversation died. Dave's admits to not being much of a witty conversationalist when surrounded by such beauty. At least he'll have photos and it'll look like he was happenin'.
It's time for something we call, WHAT'S IN THE CARGO PANTS?
The camera cuts to Tony, who hams "What's in the cargo pants tonight, Dave?" Tony reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handful of . . . . . "guacamole!"
And that's how we play "What's In The Cargo Pants?" and that's how we kill two minutes.
ACT 5: Announce: Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Brad Garrett; Blake Lively; and Randy Houser. The Late Show; Grillin' Good in the Neighborhood.
We'll be right back."
ACT 6: NEIL PATRICK HARRIS: From the CBS program, How I Met Your Mother. The show is created by two former LATE SHOW writers, Carter Craig and Thomas Bays, or Thomas Carter and Craig Bays. Hold it . . . don't tell me . . . . I know it . . . . Carter Bays and Craig Thomas. There was a nice article on them in the recent Emmy Magazine.
Neil flew in from L.A. on JetBlue, the airline that has TVs right at your seat. He was seated in first class and what comes up on the screen but an episode of "How I Met Your Mother." Very cool. Neil had to go to the restroom, or so he says, and figured as soon as he stood he would be recognized by everyone as the very guy on their TV screen. Unfortunately, no one noticed. He figured nobody got a good look at him. When he returned to his seat, he was able to see what everyone was watching. It wasn't How I Met Your Mother. Oooohhh, how crushing. But don't fret, Neil. The reason no one was watching "HIMYM" was because they already saw the episode when it was first run on CBS, Monday nights at 8:30 PM.
The show is currently filming in L.A. and in the second episode, Regis Philbin appears as himself! Dave wonders, "Couldn't you have stopped that?" Neil then impersonates Regis on the set during taping. Neil does a fine Regis, and deserves a Relly Award.
And speaking of Awards, Neil is nominated for an Emmy for his work on How I Met Your Mother.
ACT 7: NAS: From his untitled CD, Nas performed "Sly Fox." Ask for the CD by name.
And that was our show for Wednesday August 27, 2008.
I went to get the Sunday bagels and papers the other morning when I saw a softball game in progress at a schoolyard. It looked like one of those over-40 leagues. I then realized it must be an over-40 league because those under 40 don
Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor; Neil Patrick Harris; and Nas. PLUS:Get To Know Delaware; a CBS News Election '08 Update; Delegate of the Night; a Phone Call from Spencer Pratt; a Top Ten List; What's in the Cargo Pants; and Biff at the Democratic National Convention.
" . . . and now, Internet 'It' boy. . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1:
Dave conducted another of his insta-polls during the monologue. If the election were held tomorrow, how many would vote for Barack Obama and how many would vote for John McCain? Tonight's winner? It was a draw. Too close to call.
Joe Biden, the Democratic nominee for Vice President, hails from the great state of Delaware. That is why all week we've been doing a segment entitled, "Get To Know Delaware." We watch tonight's installment. Announce: "In 1894, the Battle of New Castle ended after General Thaddeus Rutledge signed the Treaty of Edgemoor in Delaware . . . . . I just made that up because I don't the first thing about Delaware.
This has been 'Get To Know Delaware.'"
Suddenly . . . . a special report. Announcer: "This is a CBS News Election '08 Update.
Hillary Clinton has unequivocally thrown her support behind Barack Obama. However, as a die-hard supporter . . . . (shot of announcer in announce booth) . . . . I'm continuing to wear my pantsuit.
Stay tuned to CBS for more election updates. We now return you to The Tony Orlando & Dawn Rainbow Hour, already in progress."
It's time for something new, though it sounds like something we would have done before, entitled, "Delegate of the Night." We see a clip of a delegate dancing in the aisle of the Pepsi Center at the Democratic Convention. He had everything but a lampshade.
Backstage, you can hear a female voice cry out, "Phone call! You have a phone call! Phone call, 'sdd'-hole! Hey, 'sdd'-hole, telephone call!" Dave finally hears the message and looks over to our executive producer and asks, "Telephone call? Right here at the fake phone? The one that hasn't worked in 25 years?" Dave picks up the phone. DAVE: "Hello?" SPENCER: "What's up? What's up?" DAVE: (to the audience) "It's that guy Spencer Pratt from 'The Hills.' Excuse me for a moment." (talks to Spencer)
What's going on, Spencer?" SPENCER: "You know, all we were was nice to you and all of a sudden you jumped ship to the bad guys." DAVE: " . . . . what?" SPENCER: "How long have you known me? 22 years? You've known LC for 3 months." DAVE: "I don't see what the problem is." SPENCER: "And in your head, you're the peacemaker. 'I wanna be nice to everyone.' And you got caught up. And I get that. It's like 'Woo-hoo. I'm friends with everybody! Can't we all just get along?'" DAVE: "I think you're blowing this way out of proportion, Spencer. I hope we can put this unpleasantness behind us and still be friends." SPENCER: "I don't want to see you. I don't want to hang out with you. As long as you're rolling around with that posse, you have nothing to do with my life. And that's straight up." DAVE: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, Spencer."
Spencer hangs up.
That's too bad.
It's time once again for another installment of "Delegate of the Night." We see another delegate exhibiting behavior best left back in college. He is a mite to happy. Dave wonders, "Is he really that happy?"
ACT 2: TOP TEN: Democratic National Convention Pickup Lines
At the end of the Top Ten animation, the hubcap from the speeding NYC taxi cab flies off and hits a bicycle messenger and sends him flying. An alarmed Dave is alarmed. Dave exclaims, "Did you see that thing!? He got hit by an animated hubcap!" Dave shows great concern, but I wonder if his worry was over the bicyclist or the impending lawsuit. He is informed that the bicyclist is OK, which comforts him somewhat. Still, it's something we need to look into. Remember, safety first.
Top Ten Democratic National Convention Pickup Lines
9. "Something's rising and it's not the national debt."
5. "I'll make you scream like Howard Dean."
2. "Wanna pretend we're Republicans and have gay bathroom sex?"
BIFF AT THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION
We find Biff at DAY 3 of the Democratic National Convention. What has he learned? Biff has learned that John Kerry has the biggest head he's ever seen. Says Biff, "It's huge. The camera had to step back to see the whole thing." And how was the Hillary speech? Biff called it exciting and feels it unified the Party. How much of it did he see? Biff says, "I only saw a minute or two then I went to dinner."
What does Biff have for us tonight? Biff went around the Democratic National Convention at the Pepsi Center and spent the day touching people. We watch Biff touching non-suspecting Dems.
ACT 3: KERRI WALSH AND MISTY MAY-TREANOR: Gold medal winners for the 2nd time in Women's Beach Volleyball. Dave likes the beach volleyball. He likes it a lot. Is it the beach or the volleyball he likes so much? I think it's the bathing suits.
We are looking at excellence when we look at Kerri and Misty. They have won 108 consecutive matches and 14 straight in the Olympics. Pure dominance. They each started playing indoor volleyball as kids but eventually got burned out. They then hooked up 8 years ago for 2-person beach volleyball and the rest is history.
Why the bikinis? Kerri says it is the most comfortable. Plus, with a one-piece, sand can get in there and it makes it hard to concentrate on the game. Not to mention the bikinis help boost their Q-Score.
Kerri and Misty had met the President before heading to China for the Olympics. Kerri introduced herself to President Bush and he chimed, "Oh, volleyball!" Either the President knows his volleyball or he was cued. Misty then introduced herself and he exclaimed, "I know you . . . where are your tattoos?" When the President was in China for the Games, he paid them a visit and we showed a photo of that meeting. We see the President about to swat and squatting Misty and the fanny. At least that's what it looked like. Actually, Misty was showing the President her tattoo and invited him to give it a pat. Which he did. When you're not running for re-election, you can do whatever you want.
You can see more of Misty this fall as she was just selected to be a contestant on "Dancing With The Stars." "Dancing With The Stars" is a big hit. I don't know; I must be getting old. I don't get a lot of things anymore.
ACT 4:
Back from commercial, Dave says he needs a coupla minutes. It seems the visit with the volleyball gals took a lot out of him. Dave admits, "If I didn't have this show, I could never get close to two women like that." Yes, his position permits him to get within touching distance to some of the most beautiful and talented women in the world. Unfortunately, the rest is left up to him. Dave said he mentioned to Kerri Walsh that he was 6 foot two, also. And that's where the conversation died. Dave's admits to not being much of a witty conversationalist when surrounded by such beauty. At least he'll have photos and it'll look like he was happenin'.
It's time for something we call, WHAT'S IN THE CARGO PANTS?
The camera cuts to Tony, who hams "What's in the cargo pants tonight, Dave?" Tony reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handful of . . . . . "guacamole!"
And that's how we play "What's In The Cargo Pants?" and that's how we kill two minutes.
ACT 5: Announce: Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Brad Garrett; Blake Lively; and Randy Houser. The Late Show; Grillin' Good in the Neighborhood.
We'll be right back."
ACT 6: NEIL PATRICK HARRIS: From the CBS program, How I Met Your Mother. The show is created by two former LATE SHOW writers, Carter Craig and Thomas Bays, or Thomas Carter and Craig Bays. Hold it . . . don't tell me . . . . I know it . . . . Carter Bays and Craig Thomas. There was a nice article on them in the recent Emmy Magazine.
Neil flew in from L.A. on JetBlue, the airline that has TVs right at your seat. He was seated in first class and what comes up on the screen but an episode of "How I Met Your Mother." Very cool. Neil had to go to the restroom, or so he says, and figured as soon as he stood he would be recognized by everyone as the very guy on their TV screen. Unfortunately, no one noticed. He figured nobody got a good look at him. When he returned to his seat, he was able to see what everyone was watching. It wasn't How I Met Your Mother. Oooohhh, how crushing. But don't fret, Neil. The reason no one was watching "HIMYM" was because they already saw the episode when it was first run on CBS, Monday nights at 8:30 PM.
The show is currently filming in L.A. and in the second episode, Regis Philbin appears as himself! Dave wonders, "Couldn't you have stopped that?" Neil then impersonates Regis on the set during taping. Neil does a fine Regis, and deserves a Relly Award.
And speaking of Awards, Neil is nominated for an Emmy for his work on How I Met Your Mother.
ACT 7: NAS: From his untitled CD, Nas performed "Sly Fox." Ask for the CD by name.
And that was our show for Wednesday August 27, 2008.
I went to get the Sunday bagels and papers the other morning when I saw a softball game in progress at a schoolyard. It looked like one of those over-40 leagues. I then realized it must be an over-40 league because those under 40 don
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